I want to be honest with y’all. I’ve cried in the Dojo multiple times in my years of Training. Nothing big, i thing most of my mates didn’t even noticed it when it happened. But… sometimes the training of Budo can be so difficult that you have to cry. No not because you had an accident. Not because you got hit. It’s when when you realize that you suck more than you thought you would. Sometimes Training can be so frustrating that you want to throw your Training dogu away and leave everything behind you. And still, the next Training you still show up at the dojo to suck a little bit less.
Budo Keiko is really hard. Even with a good teacher it is still hard. Your Body doesn’t move like you want it to move. And when you copy your Teacher and could swear that you did everything the way he did, you most of the time did it still wrong.
Sometimes it feel like you make progress at the speed of a tortoise. Or sometimes you feel like you are getting worse.
And this is the part that makes budo Training so valuable. Budo no Keiko is a form of Shugyo[修行]. It’s a journey of discipline to master onesself and to overcome ones own ego.
Showing up, and doing it again even if you feel frustration and dispair in overcoming hardships. And the if you feel like you actually made progress, it is quite sweet of a feeling. But this you only can expierence by standing up and showing up again.
Sometimes we cry, sometimes we smile. But we will always stand up again.